Its Been Awhile

This is a brief catch up post, I wish it was of more substance, but I haven't been here in more then a week. The biggest news is that I have started school again. I am working on getting a certificate in Library Technical Assistance. What better place for a literature major to be then a library? I am only allowed to take two classes my first semester, which still leaves me with far too much free time. So I am taking the Intro course and a work skills course. I need to decide how many summer classes I want to take. They are offering two classes, but I want to see how I feel towards the end of this semester. I just applied for a part time job, so keep your fingers crossed for me!

Speaking of summer, Joe and I are planning our California trip for June. I can't wait until I can start booking flights, hotels, baseball games and our AFSP volunteering. We are planning a nine day trip which will include LA and San Francisco, as well as day trip to the Redwoods.

The diet isn't going 100% perfectly. But I definitely use the tools I learned and am eating far more balanced meals and a ton more produce. I was even able to drop a pant size! I plan on keeping up with the good habits and continue dropping the bad ones.

And now, because I am sick, I am going to go rest and work on reading my one book a month. This month's book: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Day 4 of Cinch!...The Detox Continues

Yesterday was rough. Really rough. I was craving all sorts of  bad foods. I was considering stopping the detox and skipping to the 25 day plan. Thankfully, my friend, who introduced me to the diet, convinced me to continue. Today is better. Today I am almost done with the detox. Today I learned some very important things:

1. Frozen berries thawed are NOT equivalent. They are nasty mess of mush.
2. My blood sugar has stabilized. Now when I get hungry I don't get shakey and feel like I am going to pass out.
3. My body needs more variety in textures. I want myself a cracker.
4. I CAN NOT WAIT UNTIL FRIDAY, WHEN I CAN HAVE SOME CHEESE!

Cinch! Day 3

Today the Cinch! diet became a struggle. I am craving all sorts of "bad" things: salt, butter, excessive amounts of cheese, fried and greasy foods. I'm beginning to doubt my ability to stay on this diet. Especially since I don't see any changes that this detox is supposed to provide. I am going to have to take this moment by moment and try to hang in there. I can eat cottage cheese as early as Friday. I can do this. I CAN do this.

Cinch! Day 1

For about the past two years, I have woken up in the middle night. At first it was because I was hungry, so naturally I would eat. But as time went on, I think it was just a habit that I picked up. Wake up, eat, sleep some more, repeat. The Cinch! diet obviously does not approve this habit. So my second challenge was getting through the night with out eating. (The first challenge was drinking water at midnight instead of champagne). I realize that this could cause discomfort for me, especially if I did wake up hungry. To compromise, each time I woke up (which was three times) I would eat a single raspberry and drink water. I later cut out three raspberries from my breakfast. The goal for tonight: only water.

Emotional eating: after reading the Cinch! book and committing to a meal plan, I have become very aware of unnecessary eating. For example, I have cookies and freeze dried apples to my left. After my first meal I wanted to eat them. Not because I was hungry, not because I was craving it, simply because it was there. My goal is to cut back on emotional eating. I know myself well enough to know that I will eat pizza and blackberry cobbler again and indulge in comfort food. But I want to be more aware of my hunger cues and minimize unnecessary eating. And then there is boredom eating, I will have to conquer that as well.

Meal 1: Scrambled egg, 1 cup spinach, 1 cup raspberries, 2 tablespoons almonds. I am definitely satisfied. But to be honest, I wasn't all that hungry when I sat down to eat.

Meal 2: Spinach salad with raspberries, almonds and a hard boiled egg, dressed in balsamic vinegar and lime juice.

Meal 3: Greek nonfat yogurt, raspberries and almonds.

Meal 4: Smoothie made from yogurt, raspberries and almond butter.
The third challenge: today Joe defrosted some PW Cinnamon Rolls to make room in our freezer. I'm willing to bet they will be gone before the 31st.

First Day Conclusion: I did alright. I feel content without feeling weighed down. I've eaten better/more regularly/normally then I have in a long time. Hope tomorrow goes just as well.

2012 Goals

Health

• I would like to be symptom free from my OCD. Now, I know I can't resolve this on my own. Something about nature doing its own thing...but I vow to do everything in my power to achieve this
• I got two scars this year, both from silly accidents. I chopped off a chunk of finger while cooking and I burnt a semi circle into my arm at work. My goal for 2012: no more scars!
• I would like to loose some weight. And by that I mean pant sizes, I don't care about the number on the scale. Ideally, I'd be back in the single digits, but I will settle for a 10 if I must.
• I'm going to keep doing derby. I'd also like to work out at the gym. I will have to revisit that situation once my seasonal job ends.

Family

• I truly appreciate everything Joe does for us. My goal for 2012 is to show my appreciation.
• My mom wants to do family meals once a month, I will do my best to help her accomplish this.

Volunteer

• For the AFSP: I want to volunteer for the Overnight. It's in San Francisco this year, I want to be on the Walk Committee for the Chicagoland Walk, and volunteer the day of that walk as well.
• If I could be useful, I'd like to do so for the International OCD Foundation Conference that is in Chicago in July.

Travel

• Joe and I want to make a vacation out of the AFSP weekend. We'd like to spend a few days in SanFran and a few days in LA. I want Joe to see a Conan taping and go to Disneyland.
• I want to start a Europe fund. As my family begins to plan for the International Feely Family Reunion, my heart physically aches from missing London. I don't know when it would be a responsible choice for Joe and I to make the trip, but I am definitely feeling a need to start saving for it.

Home

• I would like to completely clean and declutter the apartment and donate/sell/throw out things we don't need.
• I would like to be more cautious about saving money. With my medical needs under control, it should be easier then the past year.
• I have three years of scrapbooking to catch up on.
• I have hundreds of recipes to organize.

School/Work

• I am going to go back to school and begin my certificate in Library Technical Assistance.
• I would like to have a part time job by the end of the year (the sooner the better)

Entertainment

• I really need to read more. I need to make it a greater priority in my life. So, every month I would like to read a book. Preferably a classic. But if a new Janet Evanovich comes out, that's OK, too.
• I am taking Joe to see Jerry Seinfeld in March! I'm so excited to make him so excited!
• It has been quite awhile since I have seen a play or a musical. I would really like to make time for that sometime in 2012.
• Assuming Glee tours again, I would really like to see them preform. Especially since its the last year with the original cast. Nothing makes me quite as happy as a good Glee performance.

What are your plans for 2012?

The Cinch! Diet

Well, its no secret my weight has been a struggle since the OCD and its meds came back. To make matters worse, exercise bores me (hence, the derby classes) and I love to cook and eat. Especially cooking, its calming and helps me focus on high anxiety days. A coworker, knowing my struggles, suggested I read this book Cinch! by Cynthia Sass. I am halfway through the book and looking forward to trying this meal plan. There are lots of things about this meal that have me excited:

1. Its a 30 day program. Knowing that I will have an end date will help me stay focused and conquer this challenge.
2. It starts with a 5 day detox/cleanse that includes eating four meals a day of "super foods" (yogurt, spinach, raspberries, almonds and eggs). This jump start to the diet will provide me with some visible results which will encourage me to complete the 30 day program.
3. Sass provides many different recipes that fulfill the requirements of her diet (the 25 day plan): lean protein, produce, whole grain, plant based fat (ie almonds/avocados) and nonfattening seasonings (herbs, vinegars, citrus. NOT: salt or butter). I am to eat four meals through out the day. The recipes have a wide arrange of flavor and options, which will allow me to enjoy the food I am eating.
4. There is a mandatory chocolate break every day. Just a small dark chocolate truffle to help me get through this adjustment.
5. The book will also teach me how to build my own meals following her formula. This means that once I get the hang of portion sizes and flavor options I will be able to make meals of my own.

Now, ideally, I will keep up with the jist of this diet after my 30 days. But to be realistic I am doing three things:

1. Starting January 1. Missing out on all those yummy New Year's Eve snacks would have me back to square one in a heartbeat.
2. Only committing myself to 30 days. I am hoping it will be enough to change my schedule and taste buds so I can make a permanent healthy choice, but reintegrate yummy things like salt and butter in small portions.
3. I am going to be blogging about this process. Feeling held accountable will give me a little push when my hubby pulls out the PW Cinnamon Rolls I have in the freezer.

Time to finish the book and get my detox groceries.

The Weightloss Struggle Continues

Today I had to go to the store to get pants for tomorrow. If I didn't I was limited to jeans or a dress, none of my nice clothes fit. When I bought my pants I had to go up another size...or two. PLEASE encourage me hold me accountable. I shall begin working out next week (too many family parties and anniversaries this weekend).

Julie and Julia vs Meg and Ree Part 2

So here I am thinking I have made a huge dent in my Meg and Ree challenge. I've been making a few things each week. Including the Creamy Rosemary Potatoes that are responsible for my sliced finger. Apparently you are supposed to be careful when you use mandolines. Unless of course you want your finger to match mine...but I promise you that you don't. Its not pretty, takes too long to heal and will never look the same again, its just not worth the trouble to be my finger twin. Anyway, back to the challenge. I'm only 26% of the way through the cookbook. But I suppose to be fair, there are things I have made more then once. I also suppose I will consider myself a success if I finish before the next cookbook comes out in the Spring. Also, before ya'll jump to the conclusion about me using all that butter, I want it noted that I am working hard on my weight loss goals. I even appear to be making some headway! Consequently, I am allowed to have butter a few times a week. I've decided.

Healthier Lifestyle

Well, I guess its time to be honest. The dieting isn't going as good as I had hoped and there has been no exercising. I wish I liked to exercise, I really do. I am going to be taking a Roller Derby inspired exercise class starting next week, I hope that helps get me in the mood to exercise. As for the dieting, I have been making better choices, both with content and portion size. But I still have a long way I want to go. Problem is I like food. I love good food. So I have to work on making healthy food yummy. Lets hope for a better status update next week!

Regrets

Hindsight is 20/20. I wish I would have had more appreciation for what I had when I had it (Example, my smaller size.) Lesson learned: find the good, focus on it and appreciate it.

My Weight Loss Journey Begins

If you've seen or spoken to me lately you know that I have been struggling with my weight, and am ready to win that battle. I started by going straight to a diet of 1200 cals/day. That didn't work. I was shaking so badly from hunger I caved and finished the rest of the leftover Chinese. So after talking to some friends who are also on their weight loss journey, I have decided to take a huge step back and take slower gradual steps. I am going to begin by eating the amount of calories it would take to maintain my weight for one week. Then I will slowly lower that number week by week. I know I won't get results as quickly as I would like, however it seems to be the only way for me to reach success.

Now if only I could like exercising! (Derby Class starts in two and half weeks!!!)