Day 4 of Cinch!...The Detox Continues

Yesterday was rough. Really rough. I was craving all sorts of  bad foods. I was considering stopping the detox and skipping to the 25 day plan. Thankfully, my friend, who introduced me to the diet, convinced me to continue. Today is better. Today I am almost done with the detox. Today I learned some very important things:

1. Frozen berries thawed are NOT equivalent. They are nasty mess of mush.
2. My blood sugar has stabilized. Now when I get hungry I don't get shakey and feel like I am going to pass out.
3. My body needs more variety in textures. I want myself a cracker.
4. I CAN NOT WAIT UNTIL FRIDAY, WHEN I CAN HAVE SOME CHEESE!

Cinch! Day 3

Today the Cinch! diet became a struggle. I am craving all sorts of "bad" things: salt, butter, excessive amounts of cheese, fried and greasy foods. I'm beginning to doubt my ability to stay on this diet. Especially since I don't see any changes that this detox is supposed to provide. I am going to have to take this moment by moment and try to hang in there. I can eat cottage cheese as early as Friday. I can do this. I CAN do this.

Cinch! Day 1

For about the past two years, I have woken up in the middle night. At first it was because I was hungry, so naturally I would eat. But as time went on, I think it was just a habit that I picked up. Wake up, eat, sleep some more, repeat. The Cinch! diet obviously does not approve this habit. So my second challenge was getting through the night with out eating. (The first challenge was drinking water at midnight instead of champagne). I realize that this could cause discomfort for me, especially if I did wake up hungry. To compromise, each time I woke up (which was three times) I would eat a single raspberry and drink water. I later cut out three raspberries from my breakfast. The goal for tonight: only water.

Emotional eating: after reading the Cinch! book and committing to a meal plan, I have become very aware of unnecessary eating. For example, I have cookies and freeze dried apples to my left. After my first meal I wanted to eat them. Not because I was hungry, not because I was craving it, simply because it was there. My goal is to cut back on emotional eating. I know myself well enough to know that I will eat pizza and blackberry cobbler again and indulge in comfort food. But I want to be more aware of my hunger cues and minimize unnecessary eating. And then there is boredom eating, I will have to conquer that as well.

Meal 1: Scrambled egg, 1 cup spinach, 1 cup raspberries, 2 tablespoons almonds. I am definitely satisfied. But to be honest, I wasn't all that hungry when I sat down to eat.

Meal 2: Spinach salad with raspberries, almonds and a hard boiled egg, dressed in balsamic vinegar and lime juice.

Meal 3: Greek nonfat yogurt, raspberries and almonds.

Meal 4: Smoothie made from yogurt, raspberries and almond butter.
The third challenge: today Joe defrosted some PW Cinnamon Rolls to make room in our freezer. I'm willing to bet they will be gone before the 31st.

First Day Conclusion: I did alright. I feel content without feeling weighed down. I've eaten better/more regularly/normally then I have in a long time. Hope tomorrow goes just as well.

2012 Goals

Health

• I would like to be symptom free from my OCD. Now, I know I can't resolve this on my own. Something about nature doing its own thing...but I vow to do everything in my power to achieve this
• I got two scars this year, both from silly accidents. I chopped off a chunk of finger while cooking and I burnt a semi circle into my arm at work. My goal for 2012: no more scars!
• I would like to loose some weight. And by that I mean pant sizes, I don't care about the number on the scale. Ideally, I'd be back in the single digits, but I will settle for a 10 if I must.
• I'm going to keep doing derby. I'd also like to work out at the gym. I will have to revisit that situation once my seasonal job ends.

Family

• I truly appreciate everything Joe does for us. My goal for 2012 is to show my appreciation.
• My mom wants to do family meals once a month, I will do my best to help her accomplish this.

Volunteer

• For the AFSP: I want to volunteer for the Overnight. It's in San Francisco this year, I want to be on the Walk Committee for the Chicagoland Walk, and volunteer the day of that walk as well.
• If I could be useful, I'd like to do so for the International OCD Foundation Conference that is in Chicago in July.

Travel

• Joe and I want to make a vacation out of the AFSP weekend. We'd like to spend a few days in SanFran and a few days in LA. I want Joe to see a Conan taping and go to Disneyland.
• I want to start a Europe fund. As my family begins to plan for the International Feely Family Reunion, my heart physically aches from missing London. I don't know when it would be a responsible choice for Joe and I to make the trip, but I am definitely feeling a need to start saving for it.

Home

• I would like to completely clean and declutter the apartment and donate/sell/throw out things we don't need.
• I would like to be more cautious about saving money. With my medical needs under control, it should be easier then the past year.
• I have three years of scrapbooking to catch up on.
• I have hundreds of recipes to organize.

School/Work

• I am going to go back to school and begin my certificate in Library Technical Assistance.
• I would like to have a part time job by the end of the year (the sooner the better)

Entertainment

• I really need to read more. I need to make it a greater priority in my life. So, every month I would like to read a book. Preferably a classic. But if a new Janet Evanovich comes out, that's OK, too.
• I am taking Joe to see Jerry Seinfeld in March! I'm so excited to make him so excited!
• It has been quite awhile since I have seen a play or a musical. I would really like to make time for that sometime in 2012.
• Assuming Glee tours again, I would really like to see them preform. Especially since its the last year with the original cast. Nothing makes me quite as happy as a good Glee performance.

What are your plans for 2012?

The Cinch! Diet

Well, its no secret my weight has been a struggle since the OCD and its meds came back. To make matters worse, exercise bores me (hence, the derby classes) and I love to cook and eat. Especially cooking, its calming and helps me focus on high anxiety days. A coworker, knowing my struggles, suggested I read this book Cinch! by Cynthia Sass. I am halfway through the book and looking forward to trying this meal plan. There are lots of things about this meal that have me excited:

1. Its a 30 day program. Knowing that I will have an end date will help me stay focused and conquer this challenge.
2. It starts with a 5 day detox/cleanse that includes eating four meals a day of "super foods" (yogurt, spinach, raspberries, almonds and eggs). This jump start to the diet will provide me with some visible results which will encourage me to complete the 30 day program.
3. Sass provides many different recipes that fulfill the requirements of her diet (the 25 day plan): lean protein, produce, whole grain, plant based fat (ie almonds/avocados) and nonfattening seasonings (herbs, vinegars, citrus. NOT: salt or butter). I am to eat four meals through out the day. The recipes have a wide arrange of flavor and options, which will allow me to enjoy the food I am eating.
4. There is a mandatory chocolate break every day. Just a small dark chocolate truffle to help me get through this adjustment.
5. The book will also teach me how to build my own meals following her formula. This means that once I get the hang of portion sizes and flavor options I will be able to make meals of my own.

Now, ideally, I will keep up with the jist of this diet after my 30 days. But to be realistic I am doing three things:

1. Starting January 1. Missing out on all those yummy New Year's Eve snacks would have me back to square one in a heartbeat.
2. Only committing myself to 30 days. I am hoping it will be enough to change my schedule and taste buds so I can make a permanent healthy choice, but reintegrate yummy things like salt and butter in small portions.
3. I am going to be blogging about this process. Feeling held accountable will give me a little push when my hubby pulls out the PW Cinnamon Rolls I have in the freezer.

Time to finish the book and get my detox groceries.

Merry Christmas!

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!

Love, Meg

Best. Christmas. Tradition. Ever.

Besides seeing all my family within two days, my favorite holiday tradition is Cookie Day with my cousin/sister Natalie. This year we decided to tackle 12 recipes, for the 12 days of Christmas. On the list:

1. Gluten Free Sugar Cookies
2. Sugar Cookies
3. Gingerbread
4. Thin Mints
5. Lemon Bars
6. Truffles
7. Pumpkin Chip
8. Fudge
9. Oreo Truffles
10. Chocolate Truffles
11. Raspberry Kolackys
12. Peanut Butter Mocha Cookies

This is what my house looked like before:

During:

Not Pictured: when I set a kitchen towel on fire.

After (Before you see this picture I want to very clearly state that Nat and I are incredibly grateful):

There is no doubt I have the world's best husband!

Year In Review

Well this has been a long and tough year. The majority of this year was focused on me attempting to beat this dang OCD. As the year comes to an end I am proud to say that:

1. I got through the worst and am in much better shape then I was this time last year.
2. I learned the importance of doing your own research and finding specialists.
3. I have no doubt as to how much my husband loves me.

There was also some pretty cool parts to this year:

1. I got to participate in the AFSP Overnight in NYC and I got to be on the walk committee (and participate in the walk)  for the Chicagoland Community Walk and volunteer with Survivors of Suicide day.
2. I discovered the joy of Blackberry Cobbler.
3. I met a lot of cool people.

Next week I will be discussing what 2012 will hopefully look like! It's guaranteed to be a good one!

A Cook Book I Am Excited About

A work friend recently told me about the cook book Don't Panic -Dinner's in the Freezer. It is a cook book based on the theory of spending one day cooking, and freezing several meals for later use. This is a HUGE compromise for Joe and I. Joe likes food that is quick and easy, and I like everything homemade. The book teaches to buy meat when its on sale and then make multiple meals out of it. So, if chicken is on sale; I would buy a bunch of it, make chicken enchiladas and freeze them in meal size portions for later use. I am looking forward to try cooking with this theory, especially since Joe and I are still working and have not had a meal together in at least a week.

Work

For those of you who don't know, I got a seasonal job at the local mall. Basically I was just sick of being home everyday and this was a fantastic opportunity to stay busy. But let me tell you....the mall two weeks before Christmas is hell on your stand-all-day-retail feet. I've been working hours that are AWESOME with my natural body clock (start at 3 work til 11, go to bed at 2) but because of the large amount of customers and a corporate visit, I have been putting in lots of extra hours. Next week I am scheduled for 37.5 hours. This is wonderful for my wallet of course, and I am very grateful to have a job, even if its only for a few weeks. Here's to hoping I get a good night's sleep!